Friday, July 13, 2012

Too much comfort can stop your living

FORT WORTH, TX, April 23, 2010From boundaries to comfort zones.
We all have one and know how it feels.
The definition of comfort zones refers to the environments and behaviors we all have. In them we have a sense of well being and with no sense of risk. Or that there‘s less risk where you are now than if you deviate from your regular path.
But life is something you do. Not something you be. Without change you are like a stagnant pond.
And with all this change you may as well put your energies towards the passions within you. If you don’t know what moves you, put forth the effort to find out. All of them require doing something different than you usually do.
Sound like a lot of work? Most of us would rather be all snug as a bug in a rug and comfy, yes?
Well no wonder average human behavior dictates that we don’t like change.
Comfort is good. Comfort means love. After all we were taught comfort from the cradle.
Besides, the media that bombards society says we are supposed to be comfortable. If not, we’re doing something wrong.
Sometimes the comfort zone is comfortable even when life inside it is not. People who stay in bad marriages or relationships come to mind.
Fear of not being able to self-support can make a person stay. Lack of childcare or the fear of loneliness can keep one from change. Oftentimes it seems like there are no other options.
But today I’m generalizing.
Most dreams can’t become reality if you stay in your comfort zone. You need to get out of it and make a new one that includes your passion. Your desire has to be stronger than the fear of change for that ambition to come true.

I believe perception and expectations have a lot to do with how easily we reach for our goals. Your upbringing and current value system affects your perception of the world around you. Expectations are affected by them too, but past experience also plays a significant role.
Do you have confidence? How’s your self-esteem? If you are low on either of them I say reach for your dreams anyway. Traveling the path to them builds confidence, and the effort made is a real image booster as well.
Were you raised to believe you can be anything you want if you work hard enough? Did you see a lot of people doing this while you were growing up?
Or were you told to take what you can get out of life? Just be happy with what you have and go no further? Even if you are miserable? Did those around you believe that if you change bad things might happen so why try?
All of that has some measure of truth in it. But you have to ask yourself this:
If you don’t make the effort to make your dreams reality, will you regret it someday? Will you regret it anywhere along the line of your life? Is your goal worth the risk of failure?

There will always be those around who try to talk you out of living your passions for whatever reasons. Some don’t want you to be disappointed. Others want you to stay at their level because it will shed light on their own unhappiness.
Drop these folks like a hot potato. If it’s not possible physically, then do it mentally and emotionally.
And if not completely, then put them in the periphery of your life. You need a support system that has unwavering faith in you and your abilities. When you fall down they will hold out a hand to help you up and on your feet again.
Unfortunately not all friends and family members want you to succeed. Fortunately, you don’t need them to get where you want to go. It’s reassuring when loved ones come along for the ride, but not if they tear you down.
Go ahead. Find out what you need to do to dwell in your passions. That’s the first step right there.
Now do what you need to do so you can live your dreams.

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Welcome! Here is the first column I sent to my editor this morning. It should be posted today or tomorrow.
I want to state for the record that unless a comment is really ugly and uncalled for I will post them. I don't care if the opinion of someone else differs from my own. I am a firm believer in Freedom of Speech and that everyone has a right to their opinions and to express them.
I also believe we can learn from others no matter how different their life experience is from our own.